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There’s a loneliness epidemic according to a recent Meta-Gallup poll. 25% of people worldwide feel very or fairly lonely. Everyone has felt at least a little lonely at some point in their lives. Hey – who hasn’t thrown a good old pity party lamenting the fact that “no one really understands me”?
The good news is that as you get older, you get over this. But, if you’re not there yet, let’s beat back loneliness and increase your happiness!
1.) Realize that loneliness is a state of mind. You can be in a crowd of people and be lonely or be on a desert island and be content. I think most people feel lonely because they feel they don’t have love. But if we are truly honest with ourselves, we all have some form of love in our lives. It may not be from the hot guy/girl you met online, it may be from your mom, but you still have love. You can decide you are surrounded by love any time you want to. When I experienced the wonder of Yellowstone, I felt love – love from and for the beauty of this world.
2.) Remember social media is smoke and mirrors. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve seen celebrating a couple’s undying love mere weeks before they broke up. Want to feel better? Get off Facebook and watch Dateline. See a few crimes of passion and flying solo won’t seem so bad.
3.) Get out of your own head. Rumination is our downfall – we catastrophize, thinking things like, “no one will ever love me” or we idealize what a relationship would be like, thinking only of the good. Like anything else, relationships have both good and bad. People you love also get on your nerves. When I was single, I’d plan a cool trip every year at Christmas so I wouldn’t be home alone having a pity party. And I loved the day after Valentine’s Day! All that candy at half price? Yes! Be your own Valentine and you’ll always get what you want.
4.) If you’re in a relationship and you feel lonely, maybe you need to spend more time with friends. One person can’t supply all your needs. If you don’t have supportive friends, get out there! Go to Meetup events, volunteer for a cause you care about, or reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with. Unless you want to connect with the Amazon delivery person, no one is going to show up on your doorstep.
5.) Change your focus. Stop focusing on what you think is missing from your life and start celebrating all you have. I think this why we are less lonely as we get older. We know that love is everywhere. It is the sun that warms your face on a gorgeous day. It is the birds that visit your feeder. It is the neighbor who waves as you walk by. It is everywhere if you will just see it.
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